"Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me." Psalm 41:9I remember reading this verse 2.5 years ago when I was struggling with the fact that God had slammed the door shut about going back to work for my previous employer. It was very unusual, I came very close to the point of even having my own parking space and everything else, but God had clearly closed the door.
A few months later, I ended up getting a job with my preferred employer. I had always wanted to work for this employer but had ended up accepting a job offer with my former employer ten years ago, since the phone call from my preferred employer (to recruit me vs offer me a job) came in a day late.
While working for my former employer many years back, I had always wished I had a "main job" somewhere else so that I could work for my former employer on a part-time, on-call status, since their part-time jobs paid fairly well. That was just a "side wish" of mine.
Alas! God never forgets.
Today, I not only have a "main job" with my preferred employer; I also have a part-time job with my former employer! God blessed me with what I had "casually" asked for many, many years ago.
Now, I see: When God closes (or in my case, slams) a door shut, it doesn't always mean that the door will be closed forever.
I'm glad that by His grace, I did not burn any bridges with my former employer, regardless of the injustice that was done to me. Now, I get to come back to them via a much better arrangement, an improved relationship, a win-win for all.
It simply wasn't time.
Now, it is. It's God's time. God's gift.
Then, early this morning, Satan attacks with feelings of abandonment, unfairness, loss of love. But just then, a cool whisper from above envelops me. I refuse to let such negative feelings steal my joy, my thankfulness, my peace that can only come from above.
On my knees, I begin to pray. This time, not asking for anything, but rather, with thanksgiving--despite the negative feelings that wanted to steal my heart-felt smile away.
I will smile, anyway.
As with the many stories in the Bible:
The miracle came after the giving of thanks.
I so want that miracle.
As God re-opened the doors to working for my former employer, again, so can He re-open other doors that are close to my heart. His way. His time. His choice. His best.
Until then, may I be able to live life fully, see His beauty, and be a part of that beauty.
I will smile, anyway.
***Update: As I was going through my old blogposts, I saw how my first attempt to return to my previous employer was dated nearly 3 years ago. God never forgets, even when I already have.***
