While this may sound cute and funny, it is no joking matter. It's more like a wake-up call! Because "love" is a topic that I had always chosen to avoid, ignore, and dismiss myself (before marriage and after divorce), I had forgotten that it is one of the most important things that I should pray about, especially for my children. It is important to note that praying for the right spouse is not sufficient; as in the case of my children, I must fervently pray that they also grow up "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord", to become that right spouse as God had intended. And, it is my heart's desire and responsibility to raise them accordingly. What I had just experienced with my son is called a "teachable moment". I must diligently teach them to put God first and love Him above all (Deuteronomy 6:5-7).
Then comes God's "love triangle", a lesson that I had heard (and failed to heed) numerous times as a teenager. Let's establish the 3 different points of the triangle, where (a) is for God as He is at the top, while the man is at the bottom left (b) and woman at the bottom right (c). Using this model helps facilitate the process of elimination. Here are a few scenarios:
- If the man decides to deepen his relationship with God (b moves towards a) but the woman decides to primarily focus her attention on the man (c moves towards b), their paths will not meet.
- If both the man and woman decide to solely focus on each other without building a relationship with God (b moves right towards c, c moves left towards b), their paths will eventually meet. However, the risk of not connecting with God (a) eliminates the bond that holds the relationship together. Chances are, b will keep moving right while c will keep moving left. As the man and woman go their own way and leave God out, they grow farther and farther apart. Hence, the relationship does not last.
- Meanwhile, if both the man and woman decide to seek God first, they will both head towards an upward direction, eventually meeting at point (a) where God is! Upon marriage, this clearly demonstrates: "What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." Matthew 19:6
PERFECT LOVE
by Max Lucado
Have you ever gone to the grocery store on an empty stomach? You buy everything you don't need. Doesn't matter if it is not good for you--you just want to fill your tummy. When you're lonely, you do the same in life, pulling stuff off the shelf, not because you need it, but because you are hungry for love...you find yourself searching for love in all the wrong places. But all this changes when we discover God's perfect love. And "perfect love casts out fear." (1 John 4:18)
It has been over 3 years since God had removed me from an abusive relationship. Many others have approached me about the thought of remarrying, and my instant reflex action would be to raise my eyebrow and shake my head incessantly! I have surrendered this to the Lord, too, because I only want what He wants, and I completely trust that He knows what's best for me...no matter how unimaginable it may seem.
Whereas my struggles have never been with loneliness (hopefully not ever), it has been with wanting to be left alone (from time to time, this desire still consumes me). While growing up, I had taught myself to take control of my own destiny and not rely on others, especially since they will only hurt or disappoint me in the process, not to mention, attempt to take advantage of me. After my dad passed away, I thought I had found people to look up to; they, too, have severely broken my trust enough to traumatize a young teenager! Such circumstances led me to set aside my emotions and become fiercely independent. Sadly, our society has programmed our minds to strongly value a sense of independence, autonomy, and self-sufficiency, versus a strong dependence on God followed by full surrender and obedience. By not surrendering my will (and emotions) to God earlier on in my life, I ended up making very poor decisions that have already affected and will continue to affect my life (including my children and others), forever.
The Challenge:
- If you are a parent, continue to seek out "teachable moments" with your children, especially in the areas of serving God, serving others, and becoming a Godly spouse. Allow God to work in you and through you so that you can be a good example to them.
- If you are in a relationship, or long to be in one, apply the principles found in God's "love triangle".
- If you are lonely, accept Christ as your Savior, if you haven't done so already. If you have already accepted Christ in your heart, remember to seek Him first (Matthew 6:33), cast your burdens upon Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7), delight yourself in Him (Psalm 37:4), and know that He will meet all of your needs (Philippians 4:19). Christ is all you need!!!
- If people have disappointed you (including your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, etc.), remember that true joy can only be found in the Lord and that your dependence should be on Him, not on yourself or others (Psalm 118:8). And, forgive them, as Christ has forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32).
- If you are frustrated about your surroundings and feel a need to simply run away, remember that your problems will follow you, wherever you go. You can only hide under the shadow of God's wing (Psalm 17:8), because only He is your Refuge and Strength; indeed, He is a very present Help in time of trouble (Psalm 46:1).
Who I am now is only because of God's amazing grace.
